Ingrid Darzins: No Crime Like the Present
August 28th, 2006 by misterseo
I asked Ingrid Darzins for a bio. She sent this crap…
I’m originally from Chicago, but lived many wonderful years in Texas and now in Colorado. My husband Al and I have 3 kids, two dogs, and far too many inlaws. I currently teach at a charter school in the Denver area and look forward to being with my students every day… their parents might be another story altogether.
It just so happens that I met Ingrid at a dinner party last Saturday. She’s a whole lot more exciting than that…
Ingrid has visited Latvia several times in her life, at least once during communist rule. She attended the baptism of a cousin in a boarded up church in the middle of the night. A guy showed her his Rolex in a hot tub in Sturgis. She’s smart, funny and really enjoys teaching. She’s got three books planned for this series and the story line might not go the way you think it’s going to go. Ingrid wears sparkly gold mascara (eye liner, eye shadow? I can never keep them straight) and now enjoys Mexican Coca Cola. She knows she would get any final Jeopardy question right if the category was Henry the 8th.
Now wasn’t my version more interesting?
Here’s an excerpt from No Crime Like the Present, currently available from Aspen Mountain Press:
It had not been a good day by any stretch of the imagination and the sun had barely crested the horizon. It was only 7:05
That’s the problem with finding bodies in the copy room, ruins your whole day. Doesn’t do much for the owner of the body either.
Rose was not going to look, absolutely not going to turn her head in that direction. If she knew the person who was sprawled across the copy machine, she was going to be sick. Actually, even if she didn’t know the victim she was going to be sick. (On reflection, tossing those cookies she had scarfed for breakfast might not be such a bad thing).
No, no, no, no looking.
She looked. Bad move.
Perhaps if she concentrated on something else while she endeavored to settle her stomach: men, sex, chocolate?
Maybe she should call someone? What did Hercule Poirot do when he stumbled across a corpse of recent vintage? Twirl his mustache? (Actually, that was possible for her too—note to self—make appointment for electrolysis immediately.)
Perhaps it was a dummy set out by some students who would pay dearly for this prank. No, too much blood for that. (Hold on tummy- concentrate.)
Maybe if she just closed her eyes and did what she came here to do the illusion of mayhem would fade into the mist and she could pretend that all those éclairs she had for dinner last night had finally rotted her brain.
Yes! That would do the trick. Copy that killer of a test for third period. Perhaps she might consider rephrasing that. Close your eyes and make LOTS of copies. Think positive.
It was just that the body in question was slumped over the big copier, the one that did two sided copying and, well, as long as there had to be a corpse, couldn’t it be sprawled somewhere a bit more convenient? The cafeteria perhaps. The food there was so vile that bodies lying about should be a common sight anyway.
“Miss Hill,” a quiet voice at her side murmured, “Shall I call downstairs for some help?”
“That’s probably a good idea, dear.”
Get your eBook copy of No Crime Like the Present, from Aspen Mountain Press today.